Celebrating Life...My Dad...My Hero...the first man to love me!

As I set out to write (and rewrite) this tribute, I am drawn to many points of departure. Do I start with recognizing that this particular celebration is about the first man who ever loved me? Do I recognize that he is the first man that I ever loved? Do I mention that he was my biggest fan? How do I begin? Where do I begin? Should I begin at the beginning?

My Dad...my biggest fan...the man who believed in me maybe when I didn't...the guy I called when I was lying on the bathroom floor, sick with the flu or when my heart was broken by a boyfriend. Today I celebrate my dad. Today I celebrate the love I have for my dad every day.

Three years ago I wrote my dad's eulogy - the celebration of him...not a list of accomplishments, but a celebration of who he was and still is. I have it right beside me. What struck me as I reread it was how relevant it is today. I wrote, "I would like to begin today by thanking everyone for joining us to celebrate my dad. He never wanted a funeral...he wanted to celebrate - celebrate his life and the times we shared with him." I want to celebrate my dad, the way I remember him...the way I love him.

Three years ago today my dad passed away. He was on a trip of a lifetime with my mom and son. He told all of his friends in the weeks leading up to this opportunity how excited he was. He was so happy to have the chance to take Jamison on this vacation...to teach him...to have fun...to just be together. What a gift that time turned out to be.  He died in paradise with his biggest love, Jamison, right by his side, He died with the warm tropical sun bathing his back. Despite all the beauty and love, he still died. Three years ago, my world  changed forever.

My dad was my biggest fan. Sometimes this was embarrassing - mortifying, in fact. He attended my piano recitals, telling other dads that his daughter was better than theirs. Shouting "encouragement" at me from the sidelines. Clapping loudly for all to hear. My dad didn't often articulate how proud he was to us, but he did frequently share his feelings with close friends and family.

I remember bed times as a child vividly. I would wait to hear the click of his ankle and creak of the stairs each night when he came up to say goodnight...and always "I love you". I remember listening for the sound of his car as he sped up the hill after a day at the office. I remember weekends skiing - sometimes on chair lifts without bars...he always secured his poles in place to keep me safe and sound.

There were moments of pure heroics in our lives. Moments when my dad risked his safety to preserve mine. One such event took place at Pigeon Lake...a walk before bed turned in to the run of my life as incredibly vicious dogs chased me from cabin to cabin. My dad swore my feet never touched the ground as I flew to our cabin, the hot breath of the dogs right behind my chubby legs. My dad, my hero shot out of the cabin to stop the dogs from hurting me. He was my protector.

My dad took us all to Hawaii, year after year for family holidays. It was his place (ok, it was my mom's first, but it became his). It was our place, On one such trip when I was 10, I saw my dad, again, as my protector. I was swimming, pulled out to sea by a strong under-tow. Before I knew it I was beyond anywhere safe. The surfers wouldn't even come to my rescue. Huge rocks to my left...huge waves breaking over my head. Like a flash, my dad was there - clinging to the rocks as waves crashed on and around him...threatening to toss him into the sea as well. I can't tell you what he said to me or how everything transpired, but I know that my dad (not a swimmer) risked his life to save mine. Thank god I had long hair that he could grab and pull...his feet were all cut and bleeding, but his goal was clear - not to give up! I have written about this experience many times. The power of the moment has not waned in 37 years...it probably never will.

Don't get me wrong, my dad and I had our moments. He set the standards high for us. He always wanted us to do our best. Disappointing him was the worst! We had our epic battles - both of us stubborn and unwilling to back down. The apple, they say, does not fall far from the tree! I find that as a parent now myself, there are many times when I open my mouth and my dad comes out!

When I became a parent, our relationship changed. He supported my decision from the start. I could trust him to make sure that we were well looked after. He loved my son before he was born. My dad became a different person when Jamison was born. He moved heaven and earth for him again and again. My dad was truly in love with Jamison. He was truly present when they were together, His face softened, his eyes twinkled. When he had a bad day, he called Jamison and all was right again. To see the two of them together was a sight to behold. Such trouble in the making! They joked together often, shared secrets (although Jamison always outed his Grandad) and seemed to always be up to something!

Family meant the world to my dad. He was the glue that held everyone together. Traditions were important. He loved to celebrate and show those he cared for that they mattered. Family also included friends - the family he made for himself. He was fiercely loyal. He looked after his friends as if he was the only one who could. He left a legacy. He set the bar high...once again.

My dad was a leader, He was loyal, He was ethical. He had integrity. He exemplified hard work. He valued relationships, honesty and commitment. He had such an amazing reputation in the community. His support never waivered. His expectations never lowered. He lived his values every day.

In 2010, my dad made himself a bet that I would get married that year. His fierce love and need to protect did not go unnoticed by my husband-to-be. Thank god he didn't run from the challenge! My dad didn't make it easy :-). Once my dad realized that "this was it", he told me Ï have had this dance for the last 42 years. It is time for you to dance with someone else." He knew that we were in very good hands and that I would continue to be loved, and more importantly, protected.

The legacy he created was never more evident the day he died. His values of family, love, loyalty and hard work came through loud and clear. The strength of the bond between my dad and my son - the love they had for each other - the loyalty they felt towards each other fueled the journey they both faced. To this day, three years later, it is hard for me to imagine just what happened - how a boy of 8 years of age could pull a man of my dad's size to shore.

I know my dad was there with Jamison...the strength of their love propelled him to the beach. That day the circle of "saving" of "protection" came around. My dad saved me so that I could bring the gift of my son into our lives...so he could, one day, "save" him...



To this day I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful that my dad loved and supported us as fiercely as he did. I am thankful that he provided us with everything we needed and he never had. I am thankful that he never gave up on us even when we, I mean I, was a challenge. I am thankful I was raised with such strong values. I am thankful I spoke with my dad often. I am thankful that the legacy my dad left as the man he is lives on so strongly in the memories we all have of him. I am thankful that he knew I loved him. I have no regrets...I told him I loved him often. The last time I saw my dad was at the airport as he disappeared through security. I yelled "I love you Grandad" as he walked away...

On this beach in the Turks and Caicos, I told him I loved him. When I visit Maui, I tell him I love him...we sprinkled some of his ashes where we spent so many family vacations. It's a good reason to return year after year...

This is a celebration without an end...my heart doesn't ache quite the way it did three years ago. It is as full, if not more, with the love I have for my dad. I have much to celebrate in the life he gave me and in the love we had. When I look at my son, I see my dad...every...single...day. I am thankful for his part in my journey!